I hate being busy.

I love being busy.

I’m tired.

I’m tired of being busy.

Seems like there is too much to do these days - mostly good things like leadership retreats, books to read, and small group meetings. It’s hard to know what to do at any given time and what - if anything - can be cut out or put off. Problem is, I get a bit of a rush from these times. I think I need to have days where I get up early to get a head start and end the day completely exhausted sixteen hours later. I get a small thrill out of seeing my calendar packed with something different every hour of the day.

But enough is enough.

As my wife pointed out to me yesterday (I’m sometimes surprised by my lack of awareness) this is the third week in a row that has been “full speed ahead.” Momentum cannot sustain this pace. The tank is running low of fuel. There must be a change in velocity, and there are only two options - start slowing down… or crash. Realistically, the only way to slow this machine is to do it gradually. The calendar is full, the pile of work is tall, and people think they “need” me. A crash would be disasterous, and to slow down quickly would cause a crash, so slowing down gradually is the only option.

I came to that (not so profound) thought this morning as I was speeding through the streets of Winona Lake on my way to chapel. My car was at that moment a metaphor of my life. So I decided to start my gradual slowing process.

I walked into chapel, asked someone to cover my responsibility, and walked out the backdoor. I walked to the drive up ATM, took out some cash (paid the stupid “shared” ATM fee) and went to get a haircut.

Halfway through the haircut, as I listened to the soothing hum of the clippers, I began to hope and literally felt my life slowing down …just a little bit.

Metanoia,

Aaron

This entry was posted on Thursday, March 29th, 2007 at 12:53 am and is filed under Old Posts. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.