I’m pleased to announce that at 10:23 this evening (July 15) Castin Andrew Rash inhaled his first breath of Ft. Wayne, Indiana air into tiny, yet functional, lungs.  The premature young man was born exactly two months before his due date.  Maybe he’s just impatient. 

My sister was feeling strong contractions off and on over the past month.  This week, during her monthly examination on Thursday, the contractions began again and the doctor asked her to go to the hospital to be monitored.  After spending a day and a half with sporatic, but usually weak contractions, they sent her home.  After a good night’s sleep, they began again Saturday morning.  They went back to the hospital where they were unable to stop the contractions with medication.  So, given they are only in the 31st week of the pregnancy, they sent her via ambulance to Ft. Wayne’s Luthern Hospital.  When they couldn’t stop the contractions either, they submitted to the idea that the baby was coming.  The contractions continued, but with little effect.  My sister became more and more tired and medicated, we sat around waiting and wondering, and yet things seemed “stuck.”  At 9:00 this evening, they decided that for the health of the baby and mother, they would do a C-section.  After an additional complication with the anesthetic, they delivered the little guy… all three and a half pounds of him.

While the entire experience was tiring, frightening, frustrating, uncertain, and confusing, in the end, life prevailed.  And although the road ahead will be long for both baby (who will be in a neonatal intensive care unit for at least a month) and mom (who just had major surgery) will be a long and difficult one, tonight we are thanking God for the amazing gift of life.  For some reason, that we may never know the answer to, this baby needed to come early - and none of medicine’s high tech methods of regulating the process could stop it.  

Certainly there is a list of setbacks that can be remembered from this day, but here are a few highlights I observed:
- My sister Tara’s courageous mothering of Castin.  Despite her disappointment that this was happening in July instead of September, and that she didn’t feel “ready,”  she fought sacrificially and valiantly to deliver this baby.  When it came down to the decision to have a C-section or not, she wouldn’t answer the questions about her health, she only cared that her son was okay. 
- My brother-in-law’s love for his wife.  He was so loving and gentle with her throughout the day.  He did everything he could to show her she wasn’t alone in this trial.  He stayed positive but understanding.  I am real proud to have him as my sister’s husband.  He loved his family well.
- God’s ever present hand in the situation.  I don’t know how to articulate exactly what I mean by this, but there was a shared sense by everyone that this was a spiritual experience.  There was no clear reason why this was happening today, so it must have been His doing.  While I don’t think it was ever stated, it just seemed to be the general assumption that God was asking us to trust him with the lives involved.  We prayed a lot both silently and aloud.  We talked about our helplessness.  We acknowledged his providence over the situation.  He was thanked for the outcome.

So, yeah, I don’t normally blog in such detail about an event - maybe this is just my way of processing the day’s events as I wind down from the caffine high that enabled me to drive home safely, or maybe there is something here for someone reading this.  For what it’s worth, thanks for reading and sharing in the day.  If you were one who prayed for this little guy and my sister - I’m indebted.  Certainly, I’m thankful for the ways those prayers have been answered thus far.  There is still a long road ahead, but today’s blessings shouldn’t be soon forgotten.  I wish I had pictures of little C.A.R. but I like how these pictures show a bit of the emotion of the day.

Still pray for:
- Castin’s health and strength - he is little and vulnerable.  Pray for his ability to fight germs, for his lungs to stay strong, for his growth and energy.
- For my sister, Tara.  She is bound to be exhausted.  For the next few days of healing and pain management.  For her to stop blaming herself for the baby coming early.
- For decisions about how to best care for a baby in Ft Wayne and another living in Warsaw.  Pray for Andy as he still is learning a new job AND facing this challenge.  Pray that my mom who is here helping will be able to stay for a while.

Thanks again. 

Metanoia,
Aaron

I just found out that my sister is in labor - joyful occassion, usually. Problem is, she is only 31 weeks along, so this guy is going to be little.

She started having contractions on Thursday and went into the hospital. They couldn’t get things to stop so they took her to Ft. Wayne via ambulance. Now, she’s fully in labor, so we’re going to have a baby -whether we are ready or not.

I’m leaving for Ft. Wayne in a few minutes.

Pray…
-For this little baby boy - pray he’s developed lungs and there isn’t something wrong with him that is causing him to deliver early
- For my sister and brother-in-law, that they will remain calm and allow the doctors to direct them, that they will trust God with their son.
- For the doctors and nurses that they will clearly know what this little life needs to fight
- For my wife and kids - that they will be okay while I am in Ft. Wayne - though we are in the midst of packing and the kids have been a little crazy.
- That all of these trials will lead us all to depend more and more on God

Thanks, Aaron

This picture (taken in May) is of my sister, Tara and their daughter, Avery, who is one.

So, it’s only the second weekend of July, but I feel the summer is nearly over.  It’s been a great summer though.  Highlights include finishing my 7 papers, the amazing cookout at Andy’s, last weekend, and purchasing a house. (BTW, the girl in the pic to the right is not my daughter, but my niece Stephanie, who -as you can see- is also enjoying the summer, and her ice cream bar.)

In the world of Student Affairs, the busiest month of the year runs roughly from July 23 thru August 23. This includes RD training, RA training, GGL training, and Welcome Weekend.  HOWEVER, in my new position, the chaos begins about two weeks earlier when I suddenly realize how much preparation I have to do for that crazy month.  So, I’m working long hours, sending an unprecedented number of emails, and attending a bunch of meetings all titled  “______ planning meeting.”  I also should mention training 4 brand-new RDs (who began moving in this past weekend and will continue to trickle onto campus over the next two weeks), editing the 250-page Res Life manual, and finding more beds to house Grace’s enormous freshman class.  While I am legitimately enjoying these challenges, I’m feeling a bit like the guy trying to bail water from the Titanic.  I just hope I’m one of the lucky ones that don’t drown in the icy water.

So, I’m preparing to tred water for the next 6 weeks, which might not be so bad if I only had to work.  However, my life also includes finishing a major paper by August 31, moving into our new house on July 18, and deciding if I’m going to take a class this fall.

If you think of it, pray for me.  On second thought, pray for Sarah - she’s an amazing support, an amazing wife, and amazing mother, and an amazing friend- but this will be a difficult season for both of us.

Have humans always filled their life so full, or is this a modern phonomenan?  I sometimes don’t know that I was created to endure such crazy times.

I guess the greatest challenge I am facing isn’t the “to-do list.”  Rather it is to get through the busyness in the healthiest, God-honoring way possible.

Metanoia,
Aaron

“In the morning, Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly.” Psalm 5:3

This morning my alarm (cell phone) woke me from a deep slumber at 4:30 am. After a brief conversation with my wife and against the recommendation of my tired-from-the-fourth-of-july body, I got out of bed and into the shower. By 5:12, I found myself outside our building, breathing in the morning air, and staring into a beautiful sky of indiscribable colors. A single star had lingered long enough to greet me, but I was immediately struck by how alone I was. And quiet. There were bird noises and some rustling wind, but it seemed so quiet. The temperature was perfect, the world smelled good, and my eyes seemingly could see better and further than I can remember. I walked to my office (singing aloud - believe it or not) and for that brief moment there was no stress, no to-do list, no financial pressures, no temptation, no worry.

In the morning, when I rise
In the morning, when I rise
In the morning, when I rise
Give me Jesus
-Fernando Ortega

When I came into my office I read Psalm 5 and was thinking about the benefits of the morning. The morning brings clarity. The morning brings perspective. David suggests that God is more attentive to us in the morning - that the just and loving judge of the world is a better listener in the early hours of the day. I’m not going to build a concrete theology on the nature of God at various times of the day, but I think it’s got to be more than an interesting observation how often the bible refers to meeting God in the morning.

How did David know God was listening in the morning? What did it mean for this “man after God’s own heart” to wait expectantly?

Honestly, I have no idea, but experiences like this morning tell me that I probably listen to God better in the morning, and I am more attentive to his voice in the early hours of the day. Perhaps the same was true for David. For whatever reason, our heads are usually clearer in the morning than they are when we go to sleep (how often have I said or written something before I went to bed that I ended up regretting the next morning?!?!)

My assumption about God is that he doesn’t have good and bad times of the day… my assumption is that he is always listening and always loving and always attentive to our prayers and request. My assumption is that historically people have connected with God better in the morning because of the variance in our mindset and focus, not in his. Whatever the case, I can’t ignore this reality. Martin Luther, John Wesley, and many others (like, for example, Jesus) promoted the discipline of waking early to meet God, maybe there is some deeper wisdom to it. Maybe I’m just getting old.

Whatever the case or reason, I think I need to make rising early a priority - part of my life’s rhythm. My sanity may depend on it. My personal spiritual formation may depend on it. Frankly, it might also be the only way I’m going to survive my job.

Anyone who knows me very well knows that I am a professional night owl. I don’t like to get up early, I love the wee hours - before I go to bed. I have never experienced “waking up and can’t go back to sleep.” So this is all coming out of some sort of conviction… or something. A couple of weeks ago, I came across this blog about waking up early - since then I’ve been trying to do this more. (I’ve found tip #7 “Jump out of bed” most helpful.) I also came upon this book excerpt about becoming a morning person. Some interesting thoughts if this idea appeals to you at all.

Well, it’s already 8:00 am and I have a ton to do… can already feel the stress levels rising!

Metanoia,
Aaron

So, I’m writing this to clear up any false assumptions people might make if you see my little girl in the next week or so.

I didn’t beat my child.

There is a perfectly good explanation for Wrigley’s black eye. It was an inter-departmental rivalry. You see the Chaplain’s son beat up the Director of Residence Life’s daughter. We were the victims.

Alright, in actuality, Isaiah Joiner and Wrigley were pushing the Kent porch swing from behind when my little angel somehow forgot what they were doing and looked away. As you can then imagine, when the swing swang back there was nothing to catch it but the side of her face. If you ask her who did it to her, she will reply, “Isaiah ran into me.” Not exactly true, but I find it a more compelling story as well.

It’s real sad that I’ve managed to write such a long post about such a trivial matter. I think she looks sweet with the black eye - like a tough tom-boy or something. But I think she’s getting tired of all the attention it attracts.

Happy 4th of July, fellow citizens!

Aaron

Sorry I haven’t blogged much lately… It’s been hard for me to get into a routine this summer.

This was a GREAT summer weekend. Some of the highlights:

On the downside, I got a call Friday night that my father was in the hospital after passing out at work Friday morning. He’d been feeling lightheaded and passed out a couple of times within the past week, so we knew beforehand that something wasn’t right. Come to find out, he has very high bloodpressure and the doctor was very relieved that his body gave us indication of the problem early. He spent one night in the hospital but I’ve talked to him several times since then and he’s feeling much better. Hopefully he will take this seriously and manage the problem with good diet, exercise, and the necessary medications. I am thinking I should do the same. My grandmother also has high bloodpressure, so this thing seems to be encoded in the Crabtree DNA. Pass me the salt.

Thanks for sharing in my weekend fun. I can’t seem to find my card reader or camera cord so I’m sorry I can’t share sweet photos at this point.

Metanoia,

Aaron