Remember the monster ballad, “I’ll rememember you” by the 90s hairband “Skid Row”? It’s a really sweet song. Well, today those two words took on new meaning as I saw firsthand Skid Row on LA’s east side. I haven’t had much time to process the experience, but suffice it to say, “It messed me up.” The idea of so many people living on the streets - in battered tents, under tarps, in boxes, under blankets… with all of their earthly possessions piled in stolen groccery carts… it’s mind numbing.

Right now I’m sitting outside in the courtyard of the guest center. My feet are freezing, my fingers are getting numb - I’m here because I can’t get an internet signal in my room; and in a few minutes I’m going to get up, walk into my warm room, eat a snack, brush my teeth, wash my face, and get into a warm bed for a good nights sleep. Those people I saw today (possibly 10,000 in number) are going to stay outdoors. Feet freezing, fingers numb, cars racing by, lying on a concrete bed… mindnumbing.

I’ve got lots of images burned into my mind. But mostly I see sad faces and hopeless eyes. Jesus said that whatever we do unto the “least of these” we do unto him. With that in mind, I tried my hardest not to look down on these men and women. I tried to remember that they really are men and women. I tried to remember that they aren’t there because they are lazy and looking for a handout to buy drugs. I tried to remember that they are Jesus.

I tried.

Metanoia,

Aaron

Still in California… spent the weekend in virtual solitude- alone, with very little internet, and no television until I turned on Extreme Home Make-over and let my homesick emotions loose. I’m learning so much - about myself, about the Kingdom, about Grace College, about my family… seriously, I should be blogging every day I have so much to process. But this post isn’t about learning, it’s about eating. I’ve eaten some serious food the past couple of days.

On Saturday I broke my “no internet” rule long enough to search for the nearest In-N-Out Burger and then ventured out into the soggy streets of Pasadena to walk the 1.9 miles to feast on a double double. It was amazing. If you’ve never been, these cheeseburgers are legendary. They even look good - so good they don’t even wrap the paper completely around it when they serve it to you. Basically, they melt in your mouth. It was so good, I finished it and waited around a few minutes… ’til I was hungry enough to eat another on the walk home.

Today (Monday) I had my “advising lunch’ - this is where 5 of us from the class eat lunch with our advisors so we can talk about the classes we still need to finish our program. (BTW, it looks like I’m only going to need about 20 more credit hours left on my masters.) I was excited to get some answers in this meeting, but not as excited as I was to see that the lunch was catered by CHIPOTLE! I love those burritos… who knew rice could be so delicious?

Then, tonights supper… I went with a group of 4 from my cohort, led by the fast-walking, southern-talking William Guice. William is a pastor in Franklin Tennesee and he reminds me a lot of my former co-worker in Michigan, Bryan Converse. Anyways, William had scoped out the ultimate cultural eating experience - Roscoe’s House of Chicken and Waffles. At Roscoe’s they don’t just have both those items on their menu - they serve them together! Let me tell you two things about our dining experience: 1) You ain’t lived until you chase a greasy bite of fried chicken with a bite of butter and syrup drenched waffle. 2) I’ve never felt so bloated as I did when I (nearly) finished off two giant waffles and half a fried chicken.

Five and a half hours later… I’m still full!

Aaron

PS - still trying to figure out how to add photos to this blog…

This week I’m in Southern California taking a class called Organizational Dynamics for 8 hours a day. . I am learning so much it hurts. Seriously, I love it

Currently, I’m sitting in a Starbucks on Colorado Blvd. trying to collect some of my thoughts over a grande carmel machioto (however you spell it). Watching people, I’m pretty sure I could be a Californian, but wouldn’t want to. Everybody is in a hurry. That’s why I could be one of them – most of the time, I’m in a hurry. I don’t have much space in my life. No down time. No time for reflection. No sabbath.

Yesterday my prof was talking about how effective people discover a natural rhythm to life. This rhythm includes times of hard work as well as times of rest. This has got my kinda sad because – as hard as I’ve tried - I can’t identify any rhythm to my life thus far. In fact, I think the last time I experienced any serious downtime was 18 months ago – the last time I was in Pasadena. Then, I would walk each evening. I would sit and watch people. I would read. I would dream.

Why don’t I find time to do those things in Winona Lake? Why can’t I find my rhythm there?

Not completely sure. I think finding a good pattern of work and rest has something to do with living more intentionally, focusing my energy, reprioritizing… all those things I’ve always been told I need to do to be happy and healthy. Problem is, I am happy. I like everything in my life – and I secretly enjoy having a full life. I find myself wishing I could just add rest as one more thing to my life.

Do I just need to be more efficient in the things I do? Maybe. But so much of my life is relational and you can’t do relationships without time. So, I’m stuck. However, I have several more days in Pasadena, so maybe I’ll find this elusive “rhythm” at the bottom of my next cup of Starbucks.

Metanoia,

Aaron

Now that I have a blog (n.), I need to blog (v.)

Today we celebrated my son’s first birthday. First birthday’s are fairly significant - possibly the most life-changing birthday he’ll have for fifteen years. Now that he’s passed the 365 day point, he can:
- drink cow’s milk
- eat egg whites
- turn around and face forward in his carseat
- stop reporting his age in months

Maybe those don’t sound like big things to you, but you should have seen his smiling face while he was slamming down his first omlet yesterday.

Probably the most significant change in our life is that Sarah is no longer nursing the boy. [Please note: I promise not to regularly mention breastfeeding on this blog in the future... stick with me.] This transition has not been an easy one for any of us. He will not take a bottle or a “sippy cup.” He just won’t, or can’t… or both. He basically just cries and spits milk everywhere. He is hungry so he cries, yet he doesn’t want to drink the milk or water we are offering him so he cries, leaving him… you guessed it - still hungry and crying. It’s quite rediculous from my perspective.

It’s made me wonder, though, if I am just as stupid about other things. Do I have needs that could easily be met by resources, people, or opportunities around me that i don’t recognize? Am I complaining to God and others about my circumstances when, in fact, the solution to my problem is right before me? Am I pushing away something I need because it isn’t exactly what I want?

I am continually struck by how much my role as a father teaches me about my relationship with God. I too often find some commonality with my children in the midst of their stubbornness, disobedience, and immaturity. It’s as if somehow God gives me a glimpse of my relationship with him through my relationship with my kids. It keeps me humble, I suppose.

Metanoia, (transforming my thinking)

Aaron

Okay I thought I’d throw my hat in the blogworld - call the papers and tell all your friends.

Special thanks goes to Mr. Andrew B. Clark for helping me get this thing off the ground and into cyberspace. That’s actually an understatement - Andy pretty much taught me everything I know about getting this going or did it for me.

I don’t actually know what I’m going to write here, but my goal is to write something regularly - like at least twice a week. If that’s too lofty, I’ll probably return to this post and edit my goal - that’s the beauty of this thing - I can say whatever I want AND I can edit whatever I say so you can’t hold me to anything.

Hopefully, most of my posts won’t be as pointless as this one. Lots of words, little content.

- Aaron